Fulfillment in Life and Career Conversations

Majority of my individual clients were/are within the working ages of between 23 to early 50’s where the majority comes from the 35 to 50 age bracket. More than half are male.  Some just wanted to get their CV reviewed, others are in need of interview prepping and some guidance in mapping our their careers. The others, wanted validation on their choices of career journey.

And most, wanted to have someone to talk to them….

Have you ever felt “lost” for a moment?


Stages of psychosocial development

Generativity refers to “making your mark” on the world through creating or nurturing things that will outlast an individual.

The theory of psychosocial development was first developed by Erik Erikson, a German-American developmental psychologist and psychoanalyst known for his theory on psychological development of human beings. According to him, there are “eight distinct stages, taking in five stages up to the age of 18 years and three further stages beyond, well into adulthood. Like Freud and many others, Erik Erikson maintained that personality develops in a predetermined order, and builds upon each previous stage. This is called the epigenetic principle.”


Where the career conversations help

Understanding the “lost feelings” is the first step and gaining steps on calibrating the career goals will be the objective.


How to explore the career conversation?

Please email to askcareerdoctor@gmail.com or info@dragonfire.com.my for a discussion.


Monetising Trust and Managing Your Coffee Stain

Monetising Trust ni sebenarnya apa?

Dan, pernah dengar “Coffee Stain” di dalam concept customer service? (Kalau tak lagi, sila tanya Abang Google.)

Takpe, saya cerita sikit. Ini cerita benar. Cerita dari pagi tadi.

Pagi tadi saya terima call dari seorang rakan yang baru dapat client. Client ni seorang fashion designer. Perjanjiannya ialah rakan ni akan menulis news mengenai fashion designer ni di dalam socmed dan juga news prints.

Client dah bayar untuk kos service. (Ok, ini part monetising trust – sebab client trust on her ability to deliver what has been promised). Malangnya, rakan ni pergi outsource penulisan tu ke orang lain yang takde inisiatif pun untuk double check kesahihan berita/gambar yang keluar. Rakan pun tak check sebab “rush for time” katanya.

Client pun marah lah sebab janji tidak dikota. (Ini lah part coffee stain nya.) Client will start to wonder, if you had blundered on this one, what else have you blundered and I don’t know about it?

Trust, atau kepercayaan ni sangat mahal. It is priceless sebab value nya ialah infiniti. Kita setiap hari sebenarnya berfungsi dengan kepercayaan ni. Kita percaya yang lampu jalan di tepi rumah tu akan menyala bila jam 7 pm, traffic light di simpang rumah akan berfungsi setiap hari, bekalan air sentiasa ada, petrol station akan dibuka setiap hari, supermarket yang kita pergi tu akan dibuka pada jam 8.30 am dan akan menjual jenama barangan yang kita suka dan percayai. Beli susu anak pun beli brand yang kita percaya. Alah, tak payah susah, beli garam pun begitu, ya tak?


Itu lah monetising trust.

5 Tips Menggunakan LinkedIn Dengan Lebih Berkesan

So, kita dah register dengan LinkedIn. Tengok menunya macam ok lah, senang nak navigate.

Tapi, macam mana nak gunakan LinkedIn untuk menulis idea-idea kita? Kat bawah ni, saya tuliskan 5 tips untuk LinkedIn newbie:

  1. Sebelum kita request connection, karang sedikit ayat mengapa kita nak connect dengan orang tu. Contohnya – “Dear Hanie, I enjoyed reading your post on XYZ topic. May I request to connect with you?”
  2. Selepas dah connect tu, adab yang baik ialah untuk hantar ucapan terima kasih. Tak payah panjang berjela, “Thanks for approving the request to connect” sudah memadai. Tak ambik masa yang lama, kan?
  3. Sila check inbox korang tu. Jangan tak buka!
  4. Engage with the conversation – jangan jadi silent reader. Takde orang tau korang exist kalau senyap belakang tiang!
  5. Last sekali – have fun. Tulis idea-idea baru yang korang observe dan passionate about.


Senang kan?



How to Lose A Friend In 10 Minutes Or Less

Ever sit down with a friend who just started exploring coaching methodology and in a blink of an eye, you became the unwilling participant in the session, and you had to stop it before it gets to a damaging level?

Build rapport

Developing trust needs a lot of work and part of the work is to build rapport. Building rapport creates trust. And trust, is the basic foundation to a success conversations, and in my case, the career conversations I had with many of my clients.

I found a very interesting write up on why developing rapport is essential. From the Training Journal, it mentions that there are 4 elements for facilitative coaching:

  1. Perceived empathy
  2. Trust
  3. Belief
  4. A positivistic setting.

And, one (1) key item that a lot of newbies fail to do is to create “the contract”, basically laying down some basic expectations on what might transpire within the sessions.


The damning experience

These are top 5 experiences that I’d like to share in my several years of having to say “no” to friends who try to make me their unwilling participant:

  1. Do not be an a@@ h@@e for assuming that every single conversation will lead to a coaching moment.
  2. Sometimes, all one need is a simple chat, enjoy the teh tarik with some friends, and people watching.  However, once in a while someone might try to “test” their newfound knowledge by asking the “coaching” questions. You know it from 10 miles away because your friend does not usually talk like that…
  3. Peppering every single conversation by quoting your certification’s lessons and your trainer’s quotes.
  4. By believing that only what YOU have been certified is the ONLY God gospel in helping other people. There are many others who are doing wonderful work, work that works with their clients. I had a friend who told me that her certification is the ONLY recognized certificate in the world and started to dismiss the work of others.