Fulfillment in Life and Career Conversations

Majority of my individual clients were/are within the working ages of between 23 to early 50’s where the majority comes from the 35 to 50 age bracket. More than half are male.  Some just wanted to get their CV reviewed, others are in need of interview prepping and some guidance in mapping our their careers. The others, wanted validation on their choices of career journey.

And most, wanted to have someone to talk to them….

Have you ever felt “lost” for a moment?


Stages of psychosocial development

Generativity refers to “making your mark” on the world through creating or nurturing things that will outlast an individual.

The theory of psychosocial development was first developed by Erik Erikson, a German-American developmental psychologist and psychoanalyst known for his theory on psychological development of human beings. According to him, there are “eight distinct stages, taking in five stages up to the age of 18 years and three further stages beyond, well into adulthood. Like Freud and many others, Erik Erikson maintained that personality develops in a predetermined order, and builds upon each previous stage. This is called the epigenetic principle.”


Where the career conversations help

Understanding the “lost feelings” is the first step and gaining steps on calibrating the career goals will be the objective.


How to explore the career conversation?

Please email to askcareerdoctor@gmail.com or info@dragonfire.com.my for a discussion.


5 Tips Menggunakan LinkedIn Dengan Lebih Berkesan

So, kita dah register dengan LinkedIn. Tengok menunya macam ok lah, senang nak navigate.

Tapi, macam mana nak gunakan LinkedIn untuk menulis idea-idea kita? Kat bawah ni, saya tuliskan 5 tips untuk LinkedIn newbie:

  1. Sebelum kita request connection, karang sedikit ayat mengapa kita nak connect dengan orang tu. Contohnya – “Dear Hanie, I enjoyed reading your post on XYZ topic. May I request to connect with you?”
  2. Selepas dah connect tu, adab yang baik ialah untuk hantar ucapan terima kasih. Tak payah panjang berjela, “Thanks for approving the request to connect” sudah memadai. Tak ambik masa yang lama, kan?
  3. Sila check inbox korang tu. Jangan tak buka!
  4. Engage with the conversation – jangan jadi silent reader. Takde orang tau korang exist kalau senyap belakang tiang!
  5. Last sekali – have fun. Tulis idea-idea baru yang korang observe dan passionate about.


Senang kan?



How to Lose A Friend In 10 Minutes Or Less

Ever sit down with a friend who just started exploring coaching methodology and in a blink of an eye, you became the unwilling participant in the session, and you had to stop it before it gets to a damaging level?

Build rapport

Developing trust needs a lot of work and part of the work is to build rapport. Building rapport creates trust. And trust, is the basic foundation to a success conversations, and in my case, the career conversations I had with many of my clients.

I found a very interesting write up on why developing rapport is essential. From the Training Journal, it mentions that there are 4 elements for facilitative coaching:

  1. Perceived empathy
  2. Trust
  3. Belief
  4. A positivistic setting.

And, one (1) key item that a lot of newbies fail to do is to create “the contract”, basically laying down some basic expectations on what might transpire within the sessions.


The damning experience

These are top 5 experiences that I’d like to share in my several years of having to say “no” to friends who try to make me their unwilling participant:

  1. Do not be an a@@ h@@e for assuming that every single conversation will lead to a coaching moment.
  2. Sometimes, all one need is a simple chat, enjoy the teh tarik with some friends, and people watching.  However, once in a while someone might try to “test” their newfound knowledge by asking the “coaching” questions. You know it from 10 miles away because your friend does not usually talk like that…
  3. Peppering every single conversation by quoting your certification’s lessons and your trainer’s quotes.
  4. By believing that only what YOU have been certified is the ONLY God gospel in helping other people. There are many others who are doing wonderful work, work that works with their clients. I had a friend who told me that her certification is the ONLY recognized certificate in the world and started to dismiss the work of others.

Work-life balance and why is yours and mine are not the same?

One of the key areas my client and I will sit down together is to walk through, in detail, their work-life balance sheet. What’s a conversation on work-life balance and career got to do with anything, you might ask?


  • Whenever I sit with a 45 year old client, we would explore at how he would articulate his successes to surface up his sense of achievements, his legacy so to speak. And, try to see how this could be captured in narrative.
  • Sitting with a 35 year old client would likely be focusing on his relationship development and how this can strengthen his career progress while aligning towards company, self and work values.

Erik Erikson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development clearly defines the 8 stages of psychosocial development where “personality develops in a predetermined order, and builds upon each previous stage.”

Are you intrigued yet? Follow me Hanie Razaif-Bohlender (HRB)